


Events of Altamid

by yourheartsdesire



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: After Star Trek: Beyond setting, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Meantions of Spock/Uhura, Oneshot, Spock/Jim - Freeform, Vulcan Mind Melds, Yorktown shoreleave, based on a prompt, spirk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-10-03 10:21:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10242491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourheartsdesire/pseuds/yourheartsdesire
Summary: Jim and Spock, find out about their feelings for each other during shore leave on Yorktown which lasts six months.





	

Jim wasn’t uneasy per se but he wasn’t jumping from joy either. It was this heart gripping melancholy that was looming over him like an invisible weight on his shoulders. The feeling wasn’t unknown to him; he felt like this many times before. He was fighting this personal demon of his during those long nights on the Enterprise as they were warping through the vast space. Spending years in space without even once returning to Earth had that effect on people. Being first-headedly confronted with truly how small and vulnerable humans are compared to the endless universe, the stars and the nebulas. It made Jim realize just how helpless and powerless he really is. 

The recent events on Altamid only confirmed his fears further. He would still wake up in cold sweat in the middle of the night after re-living the ambush of the Enterprise that sent her into her rough grave. And meanwhile miraculously both he and most of his crew got out of the whole ordeal with some minor injuries that didn’t mean that things couldn’t have turned out horrendously. 

He did lose some men after all. He recalled that stinging feeling of panic as he ordered everyone to abandon ship. That cold dread upon realizing just how outmatched they were. Jim wasn’t sure how much of his panic was showing during those alarming minutes, but he was sure he couldn’t hide it all underneath a mask. He was human after all, unlike Spock, whose voice didn’t waver even once as he was assisting him with information. 

Spock, whom Jim almost lost. 

Spock who was in the turbo lift with Bones when the arch of the Enterprise’s neck was mercilessly cut open. Spock who ended up with a metal piece in his abdomen just a few centimetre away from his heart. Spock could have so easily died, it was horrifying. Had anyone else but the doctor being with him, he most likely would be long dead. And Jim wouldn’t have even known; not until much later anyways. He couldn’t be there when he was most needed. And that stunk like a bitch. 

Jim run his hands over his face while regulating his breathing. He was sweating and it was gross, but at the same time he was almost shivering from cold. Turning to cast a glance at the bedside clock Jim made a face. There were still two more hours until 6 am. That didn’t stop him however from throwing the blanket off his legs and walking towards the bathroom. 

He showered, dressed in his sweat pants and shirt and was out of his assigned small suite before the clock hit 5 am. Yorktown wasn’t quite awake yet and Jim was eternally thankful for that. This ‘snow globe in space that was just waiting to break’ as Bones called it, had in fact had no problems of holding up. It had that quiet humming, the energy that was pumping through the construction in a fashion similar to that of the blood in his own veins. It was calming in a way. Helping him clear his mind of the images of his nightmare. 

Jim started out walking without a certain aim, but after a whole hour of light jogging along the fifth’ main arcade Xerzum, he found himself in the empty observatory. His new ship looked so bare and naked like this, supported with stands all around. Its main form was already visible if he squinted hard enough, but the cover panels were missing as well as the aux engines. No wonder though, they still had four months left until the designated finish date. 

Jim just couldn’t help himself. He was growing impatient. This six months long forced shore leave was making him go mad and they weren’t even half-way into. He needed something to focus on; something to occupy his mind so that he can escape his guilt-ridden nightmare prison. However there wasn’t much to do in Yorktown. He got some smaller assignments and projects to work on, since he was still a Starfleet officer, but those ended after a few days maximum and then he was again without aim. 

He couldn’t go bothering his crew either. They all deserved the rest they got. And Jim was already starting to annoy Bones with his constant whining, who – opposite of Jim – was very much enjoying his free time. He suspected there could be a possible new girlfriend in the making but every time he referred to it, Bones hurled something at him and told him to shut the hell up. 

And Spock… well Spock kind of disappeared. 

Jim saw him only once in the last two months, and that was during the orientation of the entire crew for their accommodations and tasks. It hurt. There were many things he wished to talk to Spock about but in a way he was a coward. He could have easily looked up Spock’s assigned room, and confront him yet he couldn’t find it in himself to do so. He tried many times, but each time he stopped himself. What could he say to Spock anyways? 

The Vulcan most probably already forgot the whole incident, locked it away in his head like some kind of illogical thing to be forgotten and was spending his time much more usefully than Jim. Like conduct one of those never ending research projects of his, or mediating, or making acquaintance with other science personnel or going on dates with Uhura. 

Jim huffed. He forced himself to stop that trail of thoughts. It always made him angry for some reason. Whenever he thought of Spock sooner or later he would turn angry. Whether at himself or at Spock, Jim couldn’t exactly distinguish. And paradoxically, it was highly illogical; Jim had to agree. What the hell would he be angry for anyways? For Spock being happy with Uhura? 

Maybe it was the jealousy speaking, Jim mused as he casted one last glance at the half-finished Enterprise before turning to walk back. Uhura was a remarkable woman. She was everything any man could ever wish for – sexy, smart, playful and very loyal. It would be no surprise if Jim developed some not-so-professional feelings towards her. But something was still amiss. However probable this whole jealousy theory sounded, it just didn’t make sense. Not even to himself. Ridiculous. 

‘Captain?’ 

Jim lifted his blue eyes to scan his surroundings. It took him less than a second to find the figure to his right. His heart beat picked up slightly. Jim blamed it on his surprise.  
‘Spock! I didn’t see you there. What are you doing here at this hour?’ his lips stretched into a wide, honest smile. Spock regarded him for a second before his eyes travelled over Jim’s shoulders and onto the ship. 

‘It appears however illogical it may sound; I developed a strong sense of urgency to see how our ship is coming around,’

Jim felt his eyes turn soft at that. Spock said our ship. Incredible how something small could cheer him up so fast out of the blue. Then a wicked smirk found its way to his lips. ‘Ah, you miss her too don’t you?’

Spock looked affronted, his dark eyes coming around to fix on Jim. ‘I am not capable of that emotion, Jim,’

‘Bullshit! You are more human than you think,’ Jim waved his hand and never stopped smiling. Spock knocked his head slightly to the side; his hands that were resting besides his hips now moved to be folded behind his back. 

‘I see no reason to stand here and be insulted,’ 

‘It was no insult Spock,’ Jim found himself turning soft again on the inside ‘It was me expressing my joy over you being more open with me,’ 

Spock regarded him with a small twitch of the lips – the Vulcan equivalent of smiling. Jim missed this. A lot. Just being around his crew, and have flippant bickering with Spock about absolutely anything. Before Jim could have stopped himself he spoke. 

‘Are you busy nowadays?’ 

’I am assuming you are inquiring about the amount of free periods in my schedule,’ Spock slightly inclined his head towards Jim, one of his eyebrows rising up. It was definitely meant to be teasing. That smooth bastard. Jim walked until he was but an arm’s distance from him, and hit him playfully on the shoulder to cover up his shaking hands. Spock just had that effect on him. It was his deep voice maybe… probably. 

’You still have your way around with words Spock,’ 

’I was merely confirming that –,’

’I know. So do you have?’ Jim grinned at Spock. Up close it was easier to see the Vulcan’s reactions, those subtle facial mimics that got lost to so many but never to Jim. Spock released the air that he was holding in his lungs, in a fashion that to anyone else would have seemed like an annoyed sigh but Jim saw the twinkle in his eyes, the content drop of his eyebrow. Jim knew he won. 

And that’s how they ended up in a rather hidden bar two days later. Jim discovered the place on the first week out of boredom, and it grew on him pretty quickly. The place was like the perfect hide-out place. The first floor was more like a night club, with colourful lights, loud music and dancing mass of bodies. On the contrary the top floor was always calmer, quieter, filled with the muted music coming from downstairs – ideal for some heart to heart talk while smoking a cigarette or ducking into a booth and making out all night long. Jim felt his cheeks heat up at the thought. 

How silly! He wasn’t here with a gorgeous woman but Spock. A Vulcan who was also in a serious relationship. Jim really needed to get his thoughts together. Especially since Spock was known to be a touch telepathic. True to be told, Jim trusted Spock would never read his thoughts or tune in on his emotions without consent but that didn’t mean Spock couldn’t accidentally catch on any of Jim’s emotional brain storm while their hands casually touched. And Jim was determined not to screw up tonight. He didn’t want to lose Spock, his best friend, his first officer just because he thought of the wrong stuff that one night, in that one bar while being slightly tipsy. 

Jim peeked over at Spock, who looked oblivious of his turmoil. He was talking about the project he was working on. Something about how silicone oils’ and Newtonian fluids’ quantity of units causing internal friction, and their viscosity that is measured by the force per unit area resisting uniform flow within. 

It all was super interesting Jim was sure but he already was at his third drink and that curtain of bliss has already been dropped over his eyes and ears. All he heard of Spock’s speech were certain words such as magnitude, friction and force and those associated with something completely different in his drunken mind. Jim knew this was dangerous territory so he tried to focus on anything but those sexy images popping up. Focus, focus focus!

He rested his head on his left hand, and fixated his blue eyes at Spock in concentration. It was still impossible to pay attention to the scientific details that poured out of the Vulcan’s mouth so Jim set to study his features instead. 

Spock’s black hair was slightly ruffled; must have happened while they worked their way through the dancers to find the stairs. It looked soft, shiny, making Jim wanting to reach out and comb his fingers through the strands. His eyes were twinkling; whatever he was talking about he was very much invested. This expression was the Vulcan equivalent of excited, and Jim caught himself smiling fondly. 

His mouth was moving, closing and opening around the syllables forming inside. It was mesmerizing. The pattern was un-rythmical though it only made them more interesting. What would it be like to kiss those lips? To be kissed by those lips? Would they feel soft and pliant or rough and unyielding? Jim must have stared too long and too focused however since those lips stopped moving for a long while. 

’Jim?’ 

He blinked, and raised his eyes towards Spock’s eyes lazily. ’Yes?’

’Are you feeling alright?’ Spock had the decency to look slightly worried. Jim pushed himself to sit straighter, and waved his hands as if trying to chase the concerns. 

’Never better Spock,’ 

’Are you sure?’ the Vulcan gave him one last careful look over, rather suspiciously. Jim didn’t like that look. It made him feel like an open book; vulnerable and disclosed under Spock’s dark studying eyes. And there were many things he didn’t want Spock to see or know at the moment. His own thoughts surprising him too with the new direction they seemed to wonder so insistently. Namely tirelessly imagining what would it be like to get intimately close with his first officer. 

It both freaked the hell of out Jim and also opened his eyes like nothing else before. He indeed was jealous, but not of Spock for having Uhura. He was jealous of Uhura for having Spock. What a revelation. What a sad-sad revelation. 

’Yes of course! Why would you stop? What were you saying?’ Jim grinned trying his best to distract Spock from all of his thoughts. However Spock looked taken aback and slightly vexed. Jim’s grin dropped as fast as it appeared. 

How could have he missed Spock’s body language this blatantly? The Vulcan’s shoulders were tense, his fingers that were supposed to be casually interlacing in front of him were gripping so hard all the blood were drained from them. Oh god, what had he done? Spock must have caught on all of Jim’s stupid daydreaming and now all is ruined.

’Spock I –,’

’I broke up with Uhura,’ Spock beat him. All the words Jim wanted to say were forgotten entirely. His jaw dropped he continued to stare at Spock as if trying to comprehend the information. Did he hear it right? 

’Wait… what? Why?’ Jim blinked wildly and finally closed his mouth. Spock looked around from their booth; no one was sitting in a hearing distance from them. When he turned back to look at Jim, his eyes looked determined.

’Uhura is a remarkable woman, and I held her in the highest of regards. Nevertheless our relationship had to come to an end because – because….’ 

Jim felt horrible. Spock was having trouble expressing himself. He never had troubles with that, no matter how pressing a situation was. Whatever was going on in his life right now, must have been the hardest thing he had to deal with and Jim wanted to punch himself in the face for not noticing something was off. 

Without thinking he reached out and cradled Spock’s hands in his warm ones. On a tone so soft Jim didn’t knew he was capable of, he asked. ’Because why?’ 

Spock’s eyes shifted to fix intently on their hands touching. Jim cursed and uttered apologies under his breath upon noticing this. He moved to jerk his hands back but Spock was faster; he grabbed Jim’s left hand by the wrist and brought it between his palms in a secure hold. Heart beat soaring towards the sky, Jim was positive he will pass out soon. 

’Because I found my T’hy’la, Jim,’ Spock’s voice was soft but clear. 

Jim has heard that word before. Spock once explained it to him upon inquiry while he was trying to explain Jim about his parents’ complicated marriage ritual. T’hy’la was a Vulcan term meaning, friend, brother and lover. Jim gulped, a new wave of sadness washing over him. If Spock found his T’hy’la then Jim really had absolutely no chance with Spock.

’That’s.. great,’ he pressured himself to smile ’So, who is the lucky person?’ 

Jim tried to pull his hand back but Spock didn’t let him. Strange. Spock regarded him incredulously. ’Jim, it is you,’ 

Jim physically couldn’t speak for a minute or two. Heavens were playing a very dirty trick on him; either that or he already passed out and was having a very realistic drunken dream. Neither sounded okay though and it was just too cruel. Everything was too much. He just discovered that he had the biggest stupid crush on Spock and now the very same Vulcan was telling him, Jim was his soul mate equivalent T’hy’la. 

’Spock are you drunk?’ He received a huff; if Spock weren’t a Vulcan he would be full blown laughing by now.

’My biology prevents me from getting drunk on terrain drinks, Jim. You on the other hand had too much it seems,’ 

Jim shook his head and leaned closer to Spock to inspect his face and expression. There was no twinkle of eyes, or lips curling whenever Spock sassed him or outright joked, instead just an honest small raise of eyebrows, cheeks slightly green flushed and dark eyes softly staring right back. 

’No Spock. But me? Are you sure your little Vulcan oracle sphere got the right guy?’ Jim gestured with his free hand at himself, getting super close to crying at this point. Or wait, his cheeks felt moist already; since when was he crying? 

’T’hy’la bonds don’t require any type of sphere or assistance from physical objects Jim. They happen unexpectedly, and no one involved has control over it,’ 

’So… you are trying to tell me we are bonded?’ Jim felt his voice rise, but he couldn’t help the panic bubbling up in his chest. Oh God, if this was happening he was going to die. Die of embarrassment and happiness. Or both. Spock gripped his hand a tad harder now, and it was borderline painful but Jim would rather have Spock break his fingers than to open his mouth and tell him to let go. 

’I am afraid… that’s the case. However I cannot tell you with 100% certainty for I would require a mind meld to check my hypothesis,’ 

’Afraid? Spock do you not want this?’ Jim felt more tears escaping his eyes and his lungs contracting inside his ribcage. Spock sighed softly and raised both of his eyebrows up. 

’I was never more sure of what I want Jim,’

’And that would be?’ Jim couldn’t breathe. This was it. The moment of truth. The moment to decide whether he lives or dies. 

Spock’s eyes were happy, and his lips’ corner – no wait scratch that – Spock was smiling. A full blown human smile. It was the most mesmerizing thing Jim had ever seen in his life.  
’I want you,’ And just like that Jim could breathe again. ’I want to be never parted from you. I want to stay next to your side,’ 

’Yes,’ Jim rasped, nodding.

’I want to be more than just a friend or brother to you. I want to love you,’ Spock continued.

’Yes, yes,’ 

He was already half-way across the table, stretched like a feline animal trying, wanting, and needing to be close to Spock. Their faces were so close, Jim felt his warm breath on his own face. Ocean blue eyes searched dark chocolate ones, flickering down to Spock’s lips then back up to his eyes again. There was a tension around them, but this time for an entirely different reason. 

Spock’s hands moved first; he maneuvered their hands around so that two fingers carefully curled around Jim’s own. Jim glanced down and gasped breathlessly. That was the way Vulcans kiss. He saw Vulcan couples do it before. Spock literally was kissing him right now. Out of all the people he could have chosen he chose him. Everything was too hot suddenly. The air, where their hands were touching, their cheeks, their entire bodies and their thoughts. 

’I am yours T’hy’la,’ Spock whispered between them. 

’As I am yours,’ Jim whispered before crashing their lips together. It was uncoordinated, rushed and the position was more uncomfortable than not but that didn’t matter. None of that mattered. Not now. 

They were kissing, like the world were to end the next day. Biting, pulling, ragging as lips closed and opened around each other in an erotic dance. Spock tasted slightly like the citrus cocktail he was drinking, but the man himself had an earthy scent of cedar, walnuts and ginger. It was grounding and very-very attractive. Jim wasn’t sure if he was the source of that groan that got lost between their mouths but he wouldn’t mind taking responsibility. 

The kiss would have lasted a lot longer if they were initially in a more comfortable distance to each other and not lying halfway over a table. When they broke apart, they both looked hazy and drunk. The lights were dimmed but Jim was positive that Spock’s cheeks were a darker shade of green, and that he was smiling yet again. It made Jim want to lean back in and kiss him again. Too bad that the table was digging into his stomach uncomfortably. Reluctantly he lowered himself back into his chair but their hands never stopped touching. 

’Spock, know that even if you got this Vulcan voodoo thing wrong I am not letting you go,’ Jim’s tone was joking but he was dead serious inside.

’T’hy’la bond is such a unique bond of all bonding types that no one in the long history of Vulcan’s has got it wrong. I am certain it’s you,’ 

Jim gripped Spock’s right hand and brought it towards his face slowly. ’But just to make sure… Meld with me. Please,’ 

’I would prefer melding in the privacy of my or your suite,’ Spock sounded like someone who had troubles breathing. ’It’s a highly intimate act for my people. I wish not to share you with anyone, while our minds are connected,’ 

Jim felt the slight shiver that run down his spine. He never knew Spock could sound so… ethereal. It was hot as hell and dam they needed to get out of the bar before he does something he shouldn’t in public. He almost knocked the chair backwards when he stood up, and tugged Spock up too. 

They practically run – stumbled down the stairs. Well Jim was stumbling, Spock was catching him when he was about to fall, and with secure hands helped him outside of the bar. Jim couldn’t stop his drunken happy rumblings under control but he spiced it with heartfelt laughter and giggles so it was all fair. Spock wasn’t complaining, if anything he was asking back small questions just to keep him going on. 

Jim was a Starfleet captain, with a beautiful, elegant ship assigned to him. He spent years in space already, flew through nebulas, and galaxies, visited many worlds and planets. Yet he never felt more like flying than he was now. It was as if that empty bottomless hole in his chest that was torturing him until now, miraculously had been filled. As if someone poured ointment onto his wounds. As if someone wrapped him in a warm blanket when he was freezing. As if someone came along and cured him of his loneliness.  
Spock, Jim thought, saved him and he doesn’t even know. 

They entered Spock’s suite and the first thing that Jim noticed was the warm temperature and the perfect order everything was in. Everything reflected Spock, yes even the high temperature. Spock made him drink a whole glass of water, saying something about sobering him up but Jim disregarded his concern. He was perfectly fine. He was never happier.  
As soon as they sat down onto the sofa, their mouths found each other’s again. But unlike the kiss in the bar, this was slow, gentle and sensible. Aiming to savoir the feelings, the softness, and the warmth. Kissing Spock was like breathing. It felt like Jim was born to do this. To be with him, to have him in his arms and Spock’s arms around him. 

When they broke away, Spock didn’t go far. Resting his forehead against his, Jim smiled with eyes closed. This felt so intimate, so rich and they weren’t even mind melding yet. Jim understood now why Spock wanted to get out of that bar. This was like coming home, like belonging somewhere with someone.

’Would you allow me?’ 

Jim knew what he inquired about without even specifying. ’Do it Spock,’

Spock’s hand that was hovering near Jim’s face now touched his cheek. He felt fingers trail across his skin until they stopped at the meld points. 

’My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts,’ Spock whispered and the miracle began. 

Jim wasn’t sure he was breathing at all, or even if he needed to at this point. Spock’s mind was sharp, brilliant but warm and gentle at the same time; it was embracing him without arms, kissing him without lips. Spock was everywhere, yet not really there. Somewhere in the back of his mind Jim knew Spock physically was right there with him, but this was like an ecstasy outside of physical constraints. 

He felt a tug of sort. It was difficult to explain but it was as if his mind was touched by Spock’s directly. As if someone tapped him on the shoulder only that this happened inside his mind. It felt warm, comfortable and very safe. Spock was right there. He could feel him, his emotions that were usually hidden underneath that Vulcan mask of his. Jim felt like crying from the sheer amount of love, and care and yearning Spock was broadcasting and only for him. Aimed at him alone. 

Jim tried his best to clear his mind and show Spock his own emotions, to share his own love, passion and concern but it was hard when the Vulcan’s shone over him like the ray of the sun. They said Vulcans do experience emotions too, and when they do they feel it more deeply and intensely than humans. Jim never truly understood what that meant until now. 

’Don’t cry T’hy’la,’ Spock murmured to him on a soft tone, wiping tears from his face. It took Jim a while to realize they were no longer melding and that he was actually back at sitting on the couch. It all was so overwhelming but in the great way. 

’We are bonded. I felt it,’ Jim stated, not a speck of doubt. Spock nodded once, his eyes smiling. 

’Yes we are,’ 

Jim smiled and let his head rest on Spock’s shoulder, snuggling close to him tiredly. Spock accommodated to him, draping a hand over his shoulder and resting his chin on top of Jim’s head. They sat there like that for long-long minutes in content silence. 

’I love you so damn much,’ Jim whispered half-asleep after forever. 

’As do I Jim,’

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this one-shot based on a prompt by my dear Tumblr friend @kirk-enterprise. She is amazing, go follow her ^^  
> Also surprise, surprise, I happened to fall into Spock/Kirk hell lol Please go easy on me!   
> I hope you all enjoy  
> (✿ ♥‿♥)


End file.
